“90% of the people entering ministry DO NOT RETIRE from ministry, they either quit or have some sort of moral/ethical failure that disqualifies them.” – Perry Noble
 
What a staggering number, 90%!  That 90% number is for those who work in ministry as their vocation but I believe this statistic is just as important for people who are volunteering at a church, or a ministry, in any capacity. We are not only giving our time on a specific day/night of the week but also working or going to school full or part time. We all have a lot on our plates when we are serving God so it is important that we do not fall into that percentage of people who quit or have a major moral failure along the way.  In other words Burnout!!!!
 
The word burnout means “the reduction of a fuel or substance to nothing through use or combustion.” It can also mean “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.” Both definitions are applicable when it comes to ministry burnout
 
Have you ever gotten tired of ministry I don't mean ministering; I mean going from this meeting to that meeting, this program to that program, visiting this person then that person, answering the phone in the middle of dinner, answering the phone in the middle of the night, getting a phone call on vacation, etc., etc., etc.  There seems to be no time for yourself or your family.
 
You’re headed for “burnout”.
 
Busyness is today’s badge of success. We even carry this over to ministry, thinking the busier we are for God, the more He must be blessing our church, our business, or our ministry. But God would rather have us be with Him than do a bunch of things for Him.
 
Yes, we are to work hard when we work
 
Colossians 3:23-24 (NKJV)23  And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,24  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.
 
But we are commanded to rest;
 
​Deuteronomy 5:12-15 (NKJV)12  'Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the LORD your God commanded you.13  Six days you shall labor and do all your work,14  but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the LORD your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your ox, nor your donkey, nor any of your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates, that your male servant and your female servant may rest as well as you.15  And remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt, and the LORD your God brought you out from there by a mighty hand and by an outstretched arm; therefore the LORD your God commanded you to keep the Sabbath day.
 
The following was written by Pete Briscoe who has served as the Senior Pastor of Bent Tree Bible Fellowship, a multi-site church based in North Dallas, TX since 1991 during which time the church membership has grown ten-fold.  Pete also leads Telling the Truth, a multi-faceted media ministry he shares with his parents, Jill and Stuart Briscoe.

​A Prayer To Avoid Burnout In Ministry
By Pete Briscoe
 
"I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will be careful to observe My ordinances.” - Ezekiel 36:27
 
I’ve been in ministry for a number of years. I’ve seen people work themselves to the bone. They pour themselves out past empty and then turn themselves inside out. They do it all for Jesus. They do it all for love. Their intentions are purehearted, but their methodology is unbiblical.
 
If you want to avoid burnout, you’re going to have to let Jesus be Jesus – and that requires a great deal of surrender and dependence.
 
Mark 4:26-28 reads,
 
Mark 4:26-28 NIV He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground.  Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.  All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.
 
 
The Kingdom of God is like this:
 
God grows it.
 
God produces it.
 
God knows how it works.
 
The Kingdom of God is like this: You don’t have to kill yourself to make sure it lasts. You are able to abide in the Lord and scatter where He tells you to scatter, plant where He tells you to plant, and – this is amazing – rest at regular intervals in between.
 
If the indwelling is the Spirit resting in you, then dependence is you resting in Him.
 
Heavenly Lord, May The Words Of Your Gospel Be Always In Our Hearts. As I Work In Ministry, Help Me Work With All Of My Might, But Also Help Me Know When I Have To Step Aside, In Order For You To Step In And Work In A Mighty Way. Help Me Have Wisdom To Know How To Abide In You. Help Me Avoid Burnout By Letting You Be You. Thank You So Much For The Work.
 
NOTE: Read our series on BURNOUT.    

Church attendance is not just a good suggestion, it's God's will.  

Hebrews 10:23-25 (NLT)23  Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.24  Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.25  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

A few days ago I published “Joining And Attending A Church Is Not Just A Good Idea”. In that post I quoted something from Greg Laurie "Those who isolate themselves from other believers do so at their own peril, because the Bible tells us that it is important to get together, encourage one another, and correct one another. A true Christian will want to be around other Christians. After all, why should God go to your house if you won't go to His? A lot of us want all of the fringe benefits of Christianity without applying ourselves.

If you haven't been a regular church attendee, have moved or relocated, or looking for a new church for some reason l want to caution you against looking for a new church the way you shop for a new car, new house, or a new pair of shoes.  This will be one of the most important decisions you will make because this will be the place where you can praise and worship God and you can learn things that you didn’t know before. You will be challenged. You’re going to be motivated. Church is where you will be inspired to go higher than you’ve gone, to live a life that is better and greater than you’ve been living, to sync your life up with God and His purpose and plan for your life. You will come to understand why you’re here on this earth; to serve, to give, and to do those things which are going to bring you maximum benefits!

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How To Choose A Church: 7 Things To Look For
by DARYL EVANS

Your church, in many ways, helps to shape who you are and your relationship with God. Many of the things you will learn about the Bible will come through your church. This decision is not one to make flippantly or without putting much thought into it. The choice is important and the options are many. So where do we begin? How do I choose?

I am going to go through some things that are important about picking a church. These will include things to look for and also things to avoid.

The Authority and Inerrancy of the Bible

This means that all the words in Scripture are God's words and if we are to disobey them, we are disobeying God. Ask these questions…Is the Bible the main resource for preaching and teaching in the church?  Does the church believe that the Bible is the inspired and inerrant word of God and is the final authority on every church matter?

A Place That Encourages You in Worship

Every church should encourage you to worship God.  This point almost seems too obvious to mention. The church is about worship to God the Father. That is what we exist for. He created us to worship Him. Jesus makes this point very clear when He is asked by the Pharisees which commandment is the greatest.

Matthew 22:34-39 (ESV)34  But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together.35  And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him.36  “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?”37  And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.38  This is the great and first commandment.39  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Worship isn’t just about sitting through a worship service or singing songs. At the core of worship is an intimate communication with God. The church must help you in this connection with God not only with the weekly Sunday Service but throughout your life.

A Place That Encourages and Equips You to Grow in Discipleship

A disciple is one who is learning to live like Christ.  A healthy church is just as concerned with growing members than with growing numbers. Growth is a sign of life in a church.
The writer of Hebrews stresses the importance of growth (discipleship).

Hebrews 5:11-14 (ESV)11  About this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing.12  For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food,13  for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child.14  But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.  

These are strong words addressing the fact that this group of believers was not growing but remained as spiritual “infants."

God is glorified by growing churches. That growth does not just mean numerically but through people growing as evidenced in serving, or by getting involved in missions, or by giving financially (maybe for the first time), by sharing the gospel with others…and the list goes on and on.
​

A Place With Sound Doctrine

We all need to be very careful what we teach others when it comes to salvation. There are many doctrines floating around out there. According to scripture, there’s just one faith:

Ephesians 4:4-8 (ESV)4  There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call--5  one Lord, one faith, one baptism,6  one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.7  But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift.8  Therefore it says, “When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.”

Sound doctrine is important. Most churches will have a doctrinal statement posted on their website. Carefully look over this and see if it agrees with Scripture and hopefully what you believe too. A good doctrinal statement will explain their positions on at least these topics; the Trinity (God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit), salvation, sin, human destiny, the Bible, and the church.

A Place Where You Can Experience Christian Fellowship

True Christian Fellowship is not just pot-luck meals and times of social gatherings. These type of fun events can often lead to fellowship but don’t underestimate the importance of fellowship.

Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)24  And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,25  not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

1 Peter 4:10-11 (ESV)10  As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:11  whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

While Jesus was walking on this planet he also showed the importance of fellowship. He invested his life into the twelve disciples and when He sent them out, He sent them out in two’s. We need encouragement, support, correction, and guidance from other believers for us to grow the way God wants us to grow.

Expositional Preaching

This type of preaching believes in our earlier point of the authority of Scripture. This is the oldest preaching style around but it never goes out of style. The goal of this preaching is to expound on what is said in a particular passage of Scripture and to carefully explaining the meaning and applying it to the congregation.

The expositional preachers authority begins and ends with Scripture. Sound expositional preaching is often the catalyst of growth in a church. Pray for your pastor that he will commit himself to the study of Scripture, carefully and earnestly, and that God will lead him in applying the message of the text to his own life first and then to the body of the church.

We can see this element clearly in the beginning with the Reformation. Martin Luther was earnestly seeking to understand Scripture and what he was hearing taught and preached did not match up to the words that he was reading in the Scripture. We too, must be committed to be men and women of the Word of God.

Evangelism

This topic may be covered at least partially under the category of doctrine but I believe it is so important that it needs special mention. The view that a church takes about evangelism and salvation is so important. A simple definition of evangelism is to present the good news of Jesus freely and trusting God to “convert" people.

One of the primary callings of the church is to proclaim the good news of Jesus Christ so that those who believe it already might be encouraged and so that those who don’t believe might have a chance to do so. Every single Christian church should preach the gospel regularly and faithfully.

There are actually some churches that do not preach the good news of salvation through the death and resurrection of Jesus because they don’t actually believe this. They have replaced this gospel with another, perhaps “God loves and accepts everyone, period” or something like that. Today’s culture wants religious tolerance where all views are okay but that is not what the Bible teaches. We must always show love to people and not be judgmental but there is only one way to God.

John 14:6 (ESV)6  Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

This is not an exhaustive list but 7 things that I believe should be considered when choosing a church. I once had a great seminary professor that warned us young pastors in training of this…he said, “Don’t look for a perfect church. Because if it is, it won’t be after you get there." We all laughed but he was so right. There is no perfect church but there are some things that are so important in finding the right one for you.

However, keep in mind that our number one resource for every decision in life is to turn to God and the leading of the Holy Spirit for any decision that we will make in life. I encourage you to pray and to look to God for wisdom and leading in this all-important choice.

Editor’s Note:  Full scriptures added by me.

​

Church attendance is not just a “good suggestion”; it is God’s will for believers.

Hebrews 10:23-25 (NLT)23  Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.24  Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.25  And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

In his book The Christian Atheist, Craig Groeschell has a section titled “When You Believe In God But Not In His Church” (a Christian Atheist is somebody who says that they believe in God but live as if He doesn’t exist) .  One of the sections of that book is “When You Believe In God But Not In His Church”. In that section Craig says that many Christian Atheists don’t really believe in the church.

There are lots of Christians that say they don’t “do church”.  They don’t “do church” for various reasons. They had a bad experience with a church member, or pastor, they fell for a false teaching and got hurt, they don’t see any difference in church goers and people who don’t go, or are not even believers. They think they can read the bible and gain as much knowledge by themselves as if they went to church every week.  Church repulses them because they feel it’s full of hypocrites. Other people accept that people are hypocrites by nature; they just can’t stand churches talking about money.
           
Even if they can get past those issues, still others steer clear because church is irrelevant to their everyday lives.   Some may even want to attend church, but when they do, they feel even guiltier than they did before. The pastor and all the other “put-together, perfect people” just make them feel worse about themselves.  They tried church before, and it didn’t make a difference. So why bother?

Finally, there a the  “super spiritual”. Their ideals are so high that no church can possibly meet their standards. They have detailed lists of what’s wrong with each church in town. The worship music isn’t “Spirit-led” enough, or it’s too loud, too soft, or too whatever. The sermons are too shallow or too intellectual. The missions program isn’t aggressive enough or it’s all the church talks about. They spend too much money on the building or not enough.

Here’s the thinking of a lot of Christians today.  We can get all the Christian content we need from websites, podcasts, and books—even television and radio.  

I don't have a big problem with Christian television, radio, and tape ministries, websites (I have one),but they are no substitute for regular attendance and involvement in worship services, ministry outreaches, and educational programs of a local church.

The Bible tells us we need to attend church so we can worship God with other believers and be taught His Word for our spiritual growth.  The early church was devoted to hearing God’s word and in fellowship with one another every day.

Acts 2:42 (NLT)42  All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.

We should follow their example which includes meeting together.  They didn’t have church building so, they met in the temple courts and then went to their homes to fellowship, and they did this everyday.

Acts 2:43-47 (NLT)43  A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders.44  And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.45  They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need.46  They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity--47  all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.

When asked what was the greatest commandment Jesus answered this way;

Matthew 22:36-40 (NLT)36  “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?”37  Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’38  This is the first and greatest commandment.39  A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’40  The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

The church allows you to both, to love God and love your neighbor. The church is God’s vehicle to meet,  through other human beings, people's true needs. In order to do that the church needs needs every believer.

The Apostle Paul compares the church to a human body that needs and uses every part.

Romans 12:4-8 (NLT)4  Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function,5  so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.6  In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.7  If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well.8  If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Scripture Requires Church Attendance And That You Join A Local Church

Editor’s Note:  The following is from “According to Scripture, Why Should Every Christian Join a Church?" By Mark Dever and 9Marks Ministries.  Full  Scriptures added by me.
​
Every Christian should join a church because Scripture requires it. Granted, there is no direct command in Scripture that says, “Every Christian must join a local church,” but two factors in Scripture indicate that every Christian should be a member of a local church.

Jesus established the church to be a public, earthly institution that would mark out, affirm, and oversee those who profess to believe in him.

Matthew 16:18-19 (NLT2)18  Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.19  And I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven. Whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.”

Matthew 18:15-20 (NLT2)15  “If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.16  But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses.17  If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.18  “I tell you the truth, whatever you forbid on earth will be forbidden in heaven, and whatever you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.19  “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.20  For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”

Jesus established the church to publicly declare those who belong to him in order to give the world a display of the good news about himself.

John 17:21-23 (NLT2)21  I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.
22  “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one.23  I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.

Ephesians 3:10 (NLT2)10  God’s purpose in all this was to use the church to display his wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places.

Jesus wants the world to know who belongs to him and who doesn’t. And how is the world to know who belongs to him and who doesn’t? They are to see which people publicly identify themselves with his people in the visible, public institution he established for this very purpose. They’re to look at the members of his church. And if some people claim to be part of the universal church even though they belong to no local church, they reject Jesus’ plan for them and his church. Jesus intends for his people to be marked out as a visible, public group, which means joining together in local churches.

Scripture repeatedly commands Christians to submit to their leaders.

Hebrews 13:17 (NLT2)17  Obey your spiritual leaders, and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this with joy and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit.

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 (NLT2)12  Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance.13  Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work. And live peacefully with each other.

The only way to do that is by publicly committing to be members of their flock, and saying in effect, “I commit to listening to your teaching, following your direction, and to submitting to your leadership.” There’s no way to obey the scriptural commands to submit to your leaders if you never actually submit to them by joining a local church.

A Place to Believe

In addition to belonging, church also gives us a place to grow spiritually.

Romans 10:17 (NLT)17  So faith comes from hearing, that is, hearing the Good News about Christ.

Our faith grows as we hear God’s Word taught and proclaimed. We are then to live out what we have heard which is evidence of our faith.

James 1:22 (NLT)22  But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

James 2:26 (NLT)26  Just as the body is dead without breath, so also faith is dead without good works.

God uses the church to minister to us, draw us closer to Him, and to equip us.

Ephesians 4:11-12 (NLT)11  Now these are the gifts Christ gave to the church: the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, and the pastors and teachers.12  Their responsibility is to equip God’s people to do his work and build up the church, the body of Christ.

But it’s not just for us.  God has commissioned the church to deliver the message of salvation to the world.

Matthew 28:18-20 (NLT)18  Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth.19  Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.20  Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

The church continues to grow throughout the world because its people understand that the church exists not for them but for those who don’t yet know Christ. The church is changing lives, and the world, for good, for God.

"Those who isolate themselves from other believers do so at their own peril, because the Bible tells us that it is important to get together, encourage one another, and correct one another.". . A true Christian will want to be around other Christians. After all, why should God go to your house if you won't go to His? A lot of us want all of the fringe benefits of Christianity without applying ourselves. - Greg Laurie (from "What Makes an 'Authentic' Christian?")

I want you to think about some of the prayers that we routinely pray.  

We pray “give us this day our daily bread” (or something to that effect), then we get in our cars and go to the store and buy everything we need for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks for the week.  We pray for a job and then we go out and apply for employment in the field that we have studied for and trained in for years. We pray for a new house and then we go out searching for a mortgage loan we can qualify for.  We pray for good health and then we go on a diet, take a nutrition class, and start to exercise. You see it’s so easy for us to answer our own prayers.

Now think about the homeless person who prays “give me today my daily bread”, or please provide a warm place for me to sleep tonight.  Think about the parents of children in “Third World” countries who pray for food, shelter, and protection. These people pray for things they can’t always provide for themselves.

There are two things the prayers of these people should cause us to consider.

First we can our our abundance to help answer someone else’s prayers.  

Secondly, we need to learn to pray bold prayers, asking God for the things that only He can bring about. That is, if they are in accordance with His will.  Things like healing of a terminal incurable illness, employment in new field in a new city, providing the means to accomplish a something that God has directed, with no idea of the outcome, a child when you've been told that you can never have a child, something bigger than you can even imagine.

How about you? Is your prayer list full of items you can cross off yourself? Maybe it’s time to ask, “Lord, teach me to pray.”
                                                
Father, teach me to pray more boldly. Help me pray more confident prayers that can’t be answered on my own and can only happen through Your power. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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Psalm 6:1-10 (ESV)1 O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.2  Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled.3  My soul also is greatly troubled. But you, O LORD—how long?4  Turn, O LORD, deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.5  For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise?6  I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.7  My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes.8  Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the LORD has heard the sound of my weeping.9  The LORD has heard my plea; the LORD accepts my prayer.10  All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment.
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A Prayer For When You’re Asking, “How Long?”
by Ron Moore

Sometimes sleep won't come. Sometimes the pain seems unbearable. Sometimes anxiety attacks the soul. Sometimes we don't know if we can make it another day. We cry out, "How long, LORD, how long?" We are confused and frustrated. We long for God's healing.

That's where David is in this psalm. The circumstance is not known but one thing is clear; David is in "deep anguish." He feels that God is disciplining him. His body is weak. He doesn't know how much longer he can make it. He is in great pain. He doesn't know how much longer he can stand it. He is in distress. He doesn't know how much longer he can take it. He pleads for God's mercy and deliverance.

David's cry for help is based on God's "unfailing love." This attribute of God comes from the Hebrew word chesed. It is used 33 times in the Psalms. It describes God's loyal love, His love of covenant. It is a love that will never let go. No matter how you feel, God will not abandon the believer. No matter how great the anguish, He is by your side. God will never leave you. Hold on! He is there with you.

Father I am barely holding on. Please come to my aid. Please come soon. Because of Jesus I know Your unfailing love. I am holding on and trusting. Give me Your strength. I trust in You alone for deliverance. In Jesus' name. Amen.

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​Editor’s note: Nearly two years ago, in response to a comment from by daughter-in-law, I published “Hell What, Where, Who’s Been There?”.  My daughter-in-law’s comment was “And in case I forget, I really would like to talk about your concept of quote unquote hell”.  That got me to thinking; what about hell, what is it, where is it, and who’s been there. So I wrote that post.  

I recently read something on Crosswalk.com something written by the Christianity.com Editorial Staff.  The article is titled, “What Is Hell? A Biblical Guide of It’s Existence”.  This article provides additional information about hell and it’s existence and includes additional scriptural references to my original post.  These two post along with other references provide overwhelming evidence to the fact that hell is a real place that God has prepared for those who reject Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.  It is a real place of eternal separation from God where there will be “weeping and gnashing of teeth”, and to be avoided at all cost.  

I edited the article to include the full scriptures that were referenced by the authors.

What Is Hell? A Biblical Guide of Its Existence
By Christianity.com Editorial Staff

“Hell is a place of total, conscious, eternal separation from the blessings of God,” Bryan Chapell, president of Covenant Theological Seminary, said in the video below. “And there’s a sense in which hell is people getting exactly what they want.” In that if a person rejects God all throughout life, never submitting to him in repentance, then the person will enter eternity after death without God.

What Happens after Death?

We know from that everyone has sinned and therefore stand condemned before a holy God.

Romans 3:23 ESV for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Because of God’s great love for the whole world, he stepped in to rescue people from this helpless trajectory, if they only trust in Christ Jesus – the Messiah.  God incarnate.

John 3:16‭-‬17 ESV "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John 20:30‭-‬31 ESV Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Matthew 1:23 ESV "Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us).

John 1:1‭-‬3 ESV In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.

John 1:14 ESV And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.

This rescue from condemnation is not forced but received by grace through faith. And should someone die without faith in God, the Bible says their sin has condemned them to hell.  The Bible does not indicate further opportunity to receive salvation after a person dies.

Hebrews 9:27 ESV And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment,

A parable in Luke 16:19-31 Jesus describes “a great chasm” between heaven and hades (meaning: place of the dead) that is “set in place,” so that no one can cross from one side to the other.
​
Luke 16:26 ESV And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, in order that those who would pass from here to you may not be able, and none may cross from there to us.'​

​Does Hell Exist?

Alistair Begg posed the question “Is Jesus Christ true in what he says?” in the video below. “If Jesus Christ is Lord, then I have to believe exactly what he taught,” Begg said. “If we start from that premise, then we can’t simply excise the hard parts out of it. We’ve got to take him at his word. The most loving person who has ever lived spoke so straightforwardly about the awfulness of hell.”

Hell Meaning: The Difference Between Gehenna, Sheol, and Hades


Gehenna

In the New Testament, the word hell is translated from the Greek word, Gehenna, which is Hebrew for the “Valley of Hinnom” (Strong’s 1067). This is a place southwest of Jerusalem where, years before the Jews inhabited Israel, pagans in the land would worship Molek by sacrificing children.

Leviticus 18:21 (ESV)21  You shall not give any of your children to offer them to Molech, and so profane the name of your God: I am the LORD.  

Leviticus 20:2-5 (ESV)2  “Say to the people of Israel, Any one of the people of Israel or of the strangers who sojourn in Israel who gives any of his children to Molech shall surely be put to death. The people of the land shall stone him with stones.3  I myself will set my face against that man and will cut him off from among his people, because he has given one of his children to Molech, to make my sanctuary unclean and to profane my holy name.4  And if the people of the land do at all close their eyes to that man when he gives one of his children to Molech, and do not put him to death,5  then I will set my face against that man and against his clan and will cut them off from among their people, him and all who follow him in whoring after Molech.

Deuteronomy 12:31 (ESV)31  You shall not worship the LORD your God in that way, for every abominable thing that the LORD hates they have done for their gods, for they even burn their sons and their daughters in the fire to their gods.

“This was a place outside Jerusalem’s walls desecrated by Molech worship and human sacrifice, thus turned into the dump where rubbish and refuse were burned. The smoldering fires and festering worms made it a graphic and effective picture of the fate of the damned,” according to David Guzik.

Sheol

In the Old Testament, the King James Version translates שְׁאוֹל as hell, but this is more appropriately translated by most other versions as sheol, meaning underworld or “place to which people descend at death” (Strong’s 7585).

In the New Testament, this word is translated as hades in Greek, which also refers to the place of the dead.

Hades

Luke 16:23-24 (ESV)23  and in Hades, being in torment, he lifted up his eyes and saw Abraham far off and Lazarus at his side.24  And he called out, ‘Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus to dip the end of his finger in water and cool my tongue, for I am in anguish in this flame.’

In this passage we find the term hades, which is the invisible world of the dead (Strong’s 86).

“The New Testament use of Hades builds on its Hebrew parallel, Sheol, which was the preferred translation in the Septuagint,” according to Baker’s Evangelical Dictionary.
​

​Hell Described in the Bible

The word of God warns about hell describing it with images of darkness, gnashing of teeth, fire, and complete separation from God.

1. Darkness

From the oldest book of the Bible (Job) to the last book (Revelation), darkness is consistently associated with hell.

Job 10:21-22 (ESV)21  before I go—and I shall not return— to the land of darkness and deep shadow,22  the land of gloom like thick darkness, like deep shadow without any order, where light is as thick darkness.”

Job 17:13 (ESV)13  If I hope for Sheol as my house, if I make my bed in darkness,  

Job 15:23 (ESV)23  He wanders abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’ He knows that a day of darkness is ready at his hand;

Other references throughout the Bible include:

• “Realm of darkness”

Nahum 1:8 (ESV)8  But with an overflowing flood he will make a complete end of the adversaries, and will pursue his enemies into darkness.

• “Thrown outside into the darkness”

Matthew 8:12 (ESV)12  while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  

Matthew 22:13 (ESV)13  Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Matthew 25:30 (ESV)30  And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

• “Blackest darkness”

Jude 1:13 (ESV)13  wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved forever.

• “Plunged into darkness” 

Revelation 16:10 (ESV)10  The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and its kingdom was plunged into darkness. People gnawed their tongues in anguish

2. Gnashing of Teeth

Jesus, who spoke about hell more than anyone else in the Bible, used this phrase to describe the intense suffering in hell. According to Strong’s 1030, gnashing means binding or grinding.

Here is where Jesus warned people about the place “where there will be gnashing of teeth”:

Matthew 8:12 (ESV)12  while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  

Matthew 13:41-43 (ESV)41  The Son of Man will send his angels, and they will gather out of his kingdom all causes of sin and all law-breakers,42  and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.43  Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. He who has ears, let him hear.

Matthew 13:50 (ESV)50  and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Matthew 22:13 (ESV)13  Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Matthew 24:51 (ESV)51  and will cut him in pieces and put him with the hypocrites. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Matthew 25:30 (ESV)30  And cast the worthless servant into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Luke 13:28 (ESV)28  In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham and Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God but you yourselves cast out.

3. Fire

Isaiah in the Old Testament prophesied about hell as the place where “the fire that burns them will not be quenched”

Isaiah 66:24 (ESV)24  “And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh.”

This unquenchable fire is also referenced in: 

Mark 9:43 (ESV)43  And if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than with two hands to go to hell, to the unquenchable fire.

Mark 9:48 (ESV)48  ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched.’

Other fire references throughout the Bible include:

• “Blazing furnace”

Matthew 13:42 (ESV)42  and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Matthew 13:50 (ESV)50  and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

• “Fire of hell”

Matthew 5:22 (ESV)22  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

Matthew 18:9 (ESV)9  And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.

• “Eternal fire”

​Matthew 18:8 (ESV)8  And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. 

Matthew 25:41 (ESV)41  “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

• “Tormented with fire and brimstone”

Revelation 14:10 (ESV)10  he also will drink the wine of God’s wrath, poured full strength into the cup of his anger, and he will be tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb.

4. Separation from God

Often without knowing it, both the redeemed and the unrepentant experience God’s blessings on earth.

Matthew 5:45 (ESV)45  so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

Luke 6:35 (ESV)35  But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.

Romans 2:4 (ESV)4  Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?
Hell, however, is eternal separation from God’s presence, love, and other blessings.

Here are Bible passages describing the reality of hell as separation from God:

• “Shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might”

2 Thessalonians 1:9 (ESV)9  They will suffer the punishment of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might,

• “‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.’”

Matthew 25:41 (ESV)41  “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

• “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” (

Matthew 25:46 (ESV)46  And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
​

I recently got this question from one of my LinkedIn connections, a Village Minister and English Trainer from Madurai Area, India.

Question: "What does it mean that the kingdom of God suffers violence?"and violence taketh it by force. HOW to apply in practical ways?

Here’s my answer:

Jesus’ statement that the kingdom of God suffers violence is found in the context of His commendation of John the Baptist: “And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force”

Matthew 11:12 (NKJV) From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been subjected to violence,and violent people have been raiding it.

This is indeed a puzzling verse at first. How can God’s kingdom suffer, and what do violent people have to do with it?

The context in which Jesus made the statement is very important here.   As already mentioned, Jesus is speaking to the crowds about John the Baptist’s ministry. Immediately before His statement that the kingdom of God suffers violence, Jesus honors John as the greatest prophet.

Matthew 11:11(NKJV) Truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.

Immediately following His statement, Jesus says that that John was the crowning moment of the Old Testament revelation and the one who fulfilled the prophecy
of Malachi 4:5.

Matthew 11:13-14 (NKJV) For all the Prophets and the Law prophesied until John. 14 And if you are willing to accept it, he is the Elijah who was to come.

Malachi 4:5 (NKJV) “See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes.

Jesus then speaks the familiar words “whoever has ears, let them hear”

Matthew 11:15 (NKJV) Whoever has ears, let them hear.

This suggests that He has been speaking figuratively.

Next we need to compare Scripture with Scripture. One thing about John the Baptist’s ministry was the big crowds  of people who came to hear him.

Mark 1:4-5 (NKJV)  4 And so John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. 5 The whole Judean countryside and all the people of Jerusalem went out to him. Confessing their sins, they were baptized by him in the Jordan River.

These crowds were very loyal to John. Those who responded to John’s message of the coming Messiah included people who some thought would never repent, including tax collectors and prostitutes and Roman soldiers.

Matthew 21:31-32 (NKJV)31  Which of the two did the will of his father?" They said to Him, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you that tax collectors and harlots enter the kingdom of God before you.32  For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him; but tax collectors and harlots believed him; and when you saw it, you did not afterward relent and believe him.

This crowd believed John to be a true prophet of God, and they were adamant about it.

Matthew 14:1-5 (NKJV)1  At that time Herod the tetrarch heard the report about Jesus2  and said to his servants, "This is John the Baptist; he is risen from the dead, and therefore these powers are at work in him."3  For Herod had laid hold of John and bound him, and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife.
4  Because John had said to him, "It is not lawful for you to have her."5  And although he wanted to put him to death, he feared the multitude, because they counted him as a prophet.  

Mark 11:29-32 (NKJV)29  But Jesus answered and said to them, "I also will ask you one question; then answer Me, and I will tell you by what authority I do these things:
30  The baptism of John--was it from heaven or from men? Answer Me."
31  And they reasoned among themselves, saying, "If we say, 'From heaven,' He will say, 'Why then did you not believe him?'32  But if we say, 'From men' "--they feared the people, for all counted John to have been a prophet indeed.

The pressing multitudes that had followed John continued to follow Jesus’ ministry.

Luke 12:1 (NKJV)1  In the meantime, when an innumerable multitude of people had gathered together, so that they trampled one another, He began to say to His disciples first of all, "Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.

This is the key to understanding Jesus’ statement that the kingdom of God suffers violence. Pointing to the huge crowds that followed John and that were now following Him, Jesus likens them to an invading army surrounding a city to capture it.

Jesus’ statement that “the kingdom of heaven suffers violence” is a graphic picture of the enthusiasm and excitement generated by John the Baptist’s and Jesus’ teaching. People were hungry for the truth and would not be kept away. For centuries, God’s prophets had predicted the Messiah’s coming, and now that the Messiah was here, nothing could hold back the flood of people pressing into the kingdom. We see some of this in, when some men literally tore through a roof to get to Jesus and, when a crowd “intended to come and make him king by force.”

Luke 5:18-19 (NKJV)18  Then behold, men brought on a bed a man who was paralyzed, whom they sought to bring in and lay before Him.19  And when they could not find how they might bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the housetop and let him down with his bed through the tiling into the midst before Jesus.

John 6:15 (NKJV)15  Therefore when Jesus perceived that they were about to come and take Him by force to make Him king, He departed again to the mountain by Himself alone.

We should take note of the response of the believing people in Jesus’ day and share their passion. Knowing Christ has come should create in us and a striving to be closer to Him. There is no place for lack of interest or uncertainty in the follower of Jesus Christ.

​

​The statement “I am the door,” is the third of seven “I am” declarations of Jesus recorded in John’s Gospel.

John 10:7 (ESV)7  So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.

These “I am” proclamations point to His unique, divine identity and purpose. In this “I am” statement, Jesus points out for us the exclusive nature of salvation by saying that He is “the door,” not “a door.” but “the door.” Jesus is not only our Shepherd who leads us into the “sheepfold,” but He is the only door by which we may enter and be saved.

John 10:9 (ESV)9  I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.

Jesus is the only means we have of receiving eternal life

John 3:16 (ESV)16  “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

There is no other way.

To get a clear picture of Jesus’ meaning in this statement, it is helpful to understand a little of that ancient culture, especially of sheep and shepherding. Of all domesticated animals, sheep are the most helpless. Sheep will spend their entire day grazing, wandering from place to place, never looking up. As a result, they often become lost. But sheep have no “homing instinct” as other animals do. They are totally incapable of finding their way to their sheepfold even when it is in plain sight. By nature, sheep are followers. If the lead sheep steps off a cliff, the others will follow.

Additionally, sheep are easily susceptible to injuries and are utterly helpless against predators. If a wolf enters the pen, they won’t defend themselves. They won’t try to run away or spread out. Instead they huddle together and are easily slaughtered. If sheep fall into moving water, they will drown. However, sheep do fear moving water and will not drink from any stream or lake unless the water is perfectly still.


This is why David in the 23rd Psalm tells us of the shepherd who “makes [us] to lie down in green pastures, he leads [us] beside the still waters . . . though [we] walk through the valley . . . [we] will fear no evil. For You [the Shepherd] are with [us].”

Sheep are totally dependent upon the shepherd who tends them with care and compassion. Shepherds were the providers, guides, protectors and constant companions of sheep. So close was the bond between shepherd and sheep that to this day Middle Eastern shepherds can divide flocks that have mingled at a well or during the night simply by calling their sheep, who know and follow their shepherd’s voice. Shepherds were inseparable from their flocks. The shepherd would lead the sheep to safe places to graze and make them lie down for several hours in a shady place. Then, as night fell, the shepherd would lead the sheep to the protection of a sheepfold.

There were two kinds of sheepfolds or pens. One kind was a public sheepfold found in the cities and villages. It would be large enough to hold several flocks of sheep. This sheep pen would be in the care of a porter or doorkeeper, whose duty it was to guard the door to the sheep pen during the night and to admit the shepherds in the morning. The shepherds would call their sheep, each of which knew its own shepherd’s voice, and would lead them out to pasture.

The second kind of sheep pen was in the countryside, where the shepherds would keep their flocks in good weather. This type of sheep pen was nothing more than a rough circle of rocks piled into a wall with a small open space to enter. Through it the shepherd would drive the sheep at nightfall. Since there was no gate to close—just an opening—the shepherd would keep the sheep in and wild animals out by lying across the opening. He would sleep there, in this case literally becoming the door to the sheep.

In this context, Jesus is telling us that He is not only the shepherd of the sheep, but also the door of the sheep. In doing so, He is vividly contrasting Himself with that of the religious leaders of His time whom He describes as “thieves and robbers”

John 10:8 (ESV)8  All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.

When Jesus says, “I am the door,” He is reiterating the fact that only through Him is salvation possible. Jesus makes it clear that any religious leader who offers salvation other than the teachings of Christ is a “thief” and a “robber.”

One who believes the gospel is assured of being in “the fold” and of having entered by “the door.” As followers of Christ, Jesus is both our Shepherd and the Door to the sheepfold who provides for all our needs. Knowing that the world is full of predators whose sole intent is to destroy us.

1 Peter 5:8 (ESV)8  Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

We are always under His protection. More importantly, we are fully confident that “when the Chief Shepherd appears, [we] will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away”

1 Peter 5:4 (ESV)4  And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.

Editor's Note:  After the loss of a loved one many of us want to do something that will be a lasting memory of them. I had a conversation with someone today who told me that he had recently gone with a friend to plant a tree at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial Tree Grove at Kenneth Hahn State Recreation Area in Los Angeles in memory of a loved one. Our guest blogger Sara Bailey gives us 5 special ways that we can honor the memory of our loved ones.
 
5 Special Ways to Honor the Memory of Someone You Love
 
Losing someone you love begins a whirlwind of standard practices and procedures that usually culminates in a wake or memorial service and a funeral/burial. This process works -- and has for hundreds of years -- because it gives everyone who loved the deceased a chance to pay their respects and say goodbye.
 
But many people wish to memorialize their deceased loved one even more, in a unique and meaningful way, especially if they were very close. Here are some suggestions.
 
Plan a more personal home memorial service
 
There is certainly something to be said about holding a public memorial service for your loved one, as it allows people who shared just a cursory relationship with them to pay respects. But there’s also something (more) to be said for a more intimate, home memorial service -- something you should strongly consider. These events tend to be more of a celebration of life, as opposed to a somber acknowledgment of their death.
 
Raise money for a cause near and dear to them
 
Was your loved one passionate about something? Animal welfare? Helping the homeless? Veteran care? If so, a great way to pay tribute  is to hold a fundraiser for their favorite cause. Fundraisers are pretty simple to organize, and social media make them a breeze to promote. Check out these tips for planning one if you’re new to it.
 
Plant a memorial garden
 
The great thing about memorializing your loved one with a garden is that once it’s complete, it gives you a place to go for quiet meditation and remembrance. A garden symbolizes life, death, and everything in between. There are basically no rules when it comes to planting a memorial garden space. It can consist of just about anything you want, but it’s important, of course, to include at least some flowers enjoyed by your deceased loved one. If you choose to hire a professional to plant your memorial garden, just make sure you can afford the expense because landscaping services Los Angeles cost $6,562 on average.
 
Pro tip: Resist the urge to try to “fertilize” parts of the garden with your loved one’s ashes. Though a sweet idea in theory, in practice it can damage the soil and surrounding plants. Human ashes aren’t very good for the environment.
 
Flip the script and turn their day of death into a celebration
 
This may sound strange at first, but there’s no reason that the day we lose a loved one should forever be a day of pain and suffering. Death is merely the completion of a worthwhile and meaningful life, and it should be celebrated as such. You can truly memorialize your loved one by making sure you, your friends, and your family celebrate their life every year. If the death day remains too painful, even after this change in perspective, try holding a celebratory event on their birthday every year.
 
Finish off their bucket list
 
Maybe your loved one didn’t have a physical list, but you surely were aware of the things they wanted to do in life that they just didn’t get around to doing for whatever reason. A beautiful gesture would be to complete that bucket list for them. Take a trip to Italy, if that’s what they always wanted to do. If they wanted to learn to do something, take the time and learn to do it in their honor.
 
Your gestures to memorialize your loved one don’t have to be grandiose. The little things can be just as thoughtful. All that matters is that you find a way to remember them that gives you comfort and joy while staying true to their loves, desires and ethos.

To contact Sara email her at info@thewidow.net Visit her website The Widow Net.
 
​Look for Sara's book, "Hope And Help After Loss", coming soon.

John 13:34‭-‬35 ESV A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."

This was a new commandment in that the love was not because they all belonged to the same nation or all looked like each other, but because they belonged to Christ. This love was to be the expression of the love of Christ, which the disciples had seen in His life and would see also in death.

Jesus Christ came to earth as the supreme expression of God’s love for humankind.

John 3:16 ESV "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Jesus condensed and concentrated all of the real requirements of God into one great requirement —love.

Matthew 22:34‭-‬40 ESV But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Matthew 5:43‭-‬45 ESV "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'  But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

What kind of love is He talking about?

There are three major kinds of love identified by three Greek words; eros, phileo, and agape.

We are most familiar with eros love, or romantic love.  

As its name indicates, eros is passionate or sexual love (eros is the source of the English word erotic). While eros is important within a marriage relationship and is created by God, it can also be abused. God created our sexuality which makes it a good thing, but we need to recognize that Jesus was commanding something other than this particular form of love.

The second major kind of love  is phileo the Greek word for friendship love.

Philio refers to brotherly love and is most often exhibited in a close friendship. Best friends will display this generous and affectionate love for each other as each seeks to make the other happy.

The third major kind of love is agape.  Agape is a self-denying love.

Agape is the most powerful, noblest type of love: sacrificial love. Agape love is more than a feeling—it is an act of the will. This is the kind of love that can be commanded and controlled or directed by  the mind and will of the person who chooses to love.

This is the love that God has for His people and that prompted the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus, for our sins.

Since phileo love involves feelings of warmth and affection toward another person, we do not have phileo love toward our enemies. However, God commands us to have agape love toward everyone. This includes those whose personalities clash with ours, those who hurt us and treat us badly, and even those who are hostile toward our faith. In time, as we follow God’s example of agape love for our enemies, we may even begin to experience phileo love for some of them as we start to see them through God’s eyes

This is the kind of love that Jesus said that His disciples should have.  

Agape love is never an accident, nor is it automatic. It is made possible by the love of God revealed in Jesus Christ for each of us. As God’s gift to us, love is the first fruit of the Spirit in the hearts of believers. It grows to maturity as we nourish it.
​

​Love Is a Choice
By Rick Warren

Too many people have bought into the myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love were some kind of a ditch. I’m walking along one day and—bam!—I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But here’s the truth: That’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice, and it represents a commitment.
    
There’s no doubt that attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.
    
You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him.

You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him, because he knows love can’t be forced.

Deuteronomy 30:19‭-‬20 ESV I call heaven and earth to witness against you today, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live, loving the Lord your God, obeying his voice and holding fast to him, for he is your life and length of days, that you may dwell in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them."
    
This same principle is true about your relationships: You can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.
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