As someone who was married to someone that battled depression all her life and as a bible study teacher and pastor for the past 20 years, I can say with confidence that there is an epidemic of behavioral, and mental health issues in the church that we are not addressing as I believe God would have it. Let’s face it, we live in a depressed world.
The church has not treated behavioral and mental health as it has other illnesses. For some reason, the church considers cancer, diabetes, hypertension, pneumonia, flu, and even the common cold, illnesses that it’s okay to talk about and seek professional help, along with prayer, for treatment and healing. We almost never say that the reason for these illnesses is a lack of faith or trust in God.
At the same time when someone comes to us saying that they are anxious, stressed, depressed, or “God forbid” feeling suicidal, we point them to scripture and telling them that if “you really, really, believe you will not or can’t be anxious, or depressed, or considering suicide, so just pray and claim the promises of God. The best we can do is come with scriptures like
Isaiah 26:3 NKJV You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
I Corinthians 10:13 NKJV No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
Don’t get me wrong I know that it’s true that prayer and reading Bible and claiming the promises of God can help in relieving anxiety, or depression suicide but to quote scripture and make those statements without listening to the anxious or the depressed can cause them to believe that they somehow don’t have the right kind of relationship with God and if the church can’t help why bother. The result can be desperation causing people to leave the church and in the worst cases suicide.
The church has a problem talking about depression because we somehow believe that Christians should not get depressed and talking about it can be uncomfortable because we don’t know a lot about it. Some old-time preachers and old-time mothers talked about the church being a hospital... well, if you can’t talk about your sickness what kind of hospital is it? Is it only one that deals with the common cold or a stubbed toe and not anxiety, depression, or suicide?
If you can’t bring your deepest problems to church because you are afraid of what others may say and where people must pretend that “..there lives are picture-perfect”. There are two problems that result. 1) the issues or problems will eventually come out and either they will result in gossip, or the leadership will tell them not to come back until the problem is handled or 2) then can’t take the pressure of trying to put up a false face for the church so they drop out.
- Some people struggle with chronic depression. It never leaves them.
- Some struggle with seasonal depression. It stays with them over extended periods.
- Some struggle with occasional depression. Their depression comes and goes.
The church has not treated behavioral and mental health as it has other illnesses. For some reason, the church considers cancer, diabetes, hypertension, pneumonia, flu, and even the common cold, illnesses that it’s okay to talk about and seek professional help, along with prayer, for treatment and healing. We almost never say that the reason for these illnesses is a lack of faith or trust in God.
At the same time when someone comes to us saying that they are anxious, stressed, depressed, or “God forbid” feeling suicidal, we point them to scripture and telling them that if “you really, really, believe you will not or can’t be anxious, or depressed, or considering suicide, so just pray and claim the promises of God. The best we can do is come with scriptures like
Isaiah 26:3 NKJV You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
I Corinthians 10:13 NKJV No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
Don’t get me wrong I know that it’s true that prayer and reading Bible and claiming the promises of God can help in relieving anxiety, or depression suicide but to quote scripture and make those statements without listening to the anxious or the depressed can cause them to believe that they somehow don’t have the right kind of relationship with God and if the church can’t help why bother. The result can be desperation causing people to leave the church and in the worst cases suicide.
The church has a problem talking about depression because we somehow believe that Christians should not get depressed and talking about it can be uncomfortable because we don’t know a lot about it. Some old-time preachers and old-time mothers talked about the church being a hospital... well, if you can’t talk about your sickness what kind of hospital is it? Is it only one that deals with the common cold or a stubbed toe and not anxiety, depression, or suicide?
If you can’t bring your deepest problems to church because you are afraid of what others may say and where people must pretend that “..there lives are picture-perfect”. There are two problems that result. 1) the issues or problems will eventually come out and either they will result in gossip, or the leadership will tell them not to come back until the problem is handled or 2) then can’t take the pressure of trying to put up a false face for the church so they drop out.
Editor’s Note: The following are edited excerpts of an article written by Mary Sutherland (7 Ways the Church Can Help Members Who Are Battling Depression), the wife of a pastor who was born with a chemical imbalance that made her more susceptible to depression.
I spent two years at the bottom of a pit called clinical depression. The people of the church helped me climb out of that pit. God's Word tells us how we can help the depressed, but the church's people put God's healing plan into action. Here are seven ways the church can help people like me who battle depression.
1. Listen Intentionally
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19 NLT Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
One of the big reasons people get depressed is that they think that no one understands, no one cares, and no one listens. As a result, they feel isolated and alone. Those who talk with them often try to tell them what they need to do.
We often avoid those who are depressed because we don't know what to say. You don't need to know what to say! You just need to listen and ask questions.
2. Learn about Depression
If you are one of those people who have rarely struggled with any depression but have someone in your life who does, you need to learn about depression. You need to become a student of depression.
Proverbs 2:2-6 NLT [2] Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. [3] Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. [4] Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. [5] Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. [6] For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
God is willing to help us understand depression. He is ready to give us his heart for the depressed.
3. Lead with Love
Depressed people often feel unloved. Quite honestly – when you are depressed, you feel unworthy of love. You need people around you who lead with love.
1 John 4:7 NLT Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.
If you lead with love, those who are depressed will often respond to that love. On the other hand, if you lead with apathy or arrogance or with a "you just need to get over this" attitude, they will become more depressed.
1 Peter 4:8 NLT] Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
If you lead with love, love will overcome the mistakes you make trying to help the depressed.
4. Leverage Counseling and Support Groups
Jesus was the ultimate pastoral leader who loved the hurting and broken like no other. He calls us to 'take care of the sheep' with the same care and love that he demonstrated. Supporting people with mental health problems in the church is fulfilling the spirit of the Beatitudes and the Great Commission. It is the very thing that will make our message heard in a skeptical world.
Clinical depression is as real as any other physical illness where you will need to reach out for help. It requires professional doctors, constant effort, and an emphatic approach from a loyal support system.
5. Lighten Their Load
When you are depressed, even small tasks can seem overwhelming. Some days, just getting out of bed and dressed seemed like a mountain I could not climb. Find a tangible way to help your depressed friend, family member, or neighbor, and do it! Don't just call and ask what they need; they rarely tell you. Instead, show up and do it!
Galatians 6:2-3 NLT [2] Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. [3] If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.
When someone is depressed, regular tasks can become undoable burdens. So, show up with your sleeves rolled up and help lighten their load.
6. Let Go of Trying to Fix Them
This one is huge! I cannot tell you how many well-meaning people have tried to fix my depression. Afterward, I felt worse than before they tried to fix me.
Depressed people do not need someone to fix them. They need someone to listen, love, and lighten their load – but they do not need to be your project.
Psalms 40:2 NLT He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
If we could fix those who are depressed, we would. But only God can lift them out of that pit. So, we need to give up trying to fix them and choose instead to love them back to health.
7. Lean in Rather Than Run Away
This key is a big truth. Loving depressed people can wear you out. They can try your patience and make you want to give up and run away. Don't quit. Lean in instead.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT [5] Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. [6] Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Psalms 56:4 NLT I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?
God has the patience you need to deal with those who are depressed. God has the insight you need. God has the wisdom you need. And God will love them through you if you lean into him.
There is no quick fix for depression. But the church can help the depressed.
.
I spent two years at the bottom of a pit called clinical depression. The people of the church helped me climb out of that pit. God's Word tells us how we can help the depressed, but the church's people put God's healing plan into action. Here are seven ways the church can help people like me who battle depression.
1. Listen Intentionally
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19 NLT Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
One of the big reasons people get depressed is that they think that no one understands, no one cares, and no one listens. As a result, they feel isolated and alone. Those who talk with them often try to tell them what they need to do.
We often avoid those who are depressed because we don't know what to say. You don't need to know what to say! You just need to listen and ask questions.
2. Learn about Depression
If you are one of those people who have rarely struggled with any depression but have someone in your life who does, you need to learn about depression. You need to become a student of depression.
Proverbs 2:2-6 NLT [2] Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. [3] Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. [4] Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. [5] Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God. [6] For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
God is willing to help us understand depression. He is ready to give us his heart for the depressed.
3. Lead with Love
Depressed people often feel unloved. Quite honestly – when you are depressed, you feel unworthy of love. You need people around you who lead with love.
1 John 4:7 NLT Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.
If you lead with love, those who are depressed will often respond to that love. On the other hand, if you lead with apathy or arrogance or with a "you just need to get over this" attitude, they will become more depressed.
1 Peter 4:8 NLT] Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.
If you lead with love, love will overcome the mistakes you make trying to help the depressed.
4. Leverage Counseling and Support Groups
Jesus was the ultimate pastoral leader who loved the hurting and broken like no other. He calls us to 'take care of the sheep' with the same care and love that he demonstrated. Supporting people with mental health problems in the church is fulfilling the spirit of the Beatitudes and the Great Commission. It is the very thing that will make our message heard in a skeptical world.
Clinical depression is as real as any other physical illness where you will need to reach out for help. It requires professional doctors, constant effort, and an emphatic approach from a loyal support system.
5. Lighten Their Load
When you are depressed, even small tasks can seem overwhelming. Some days, just getting out of bed and dressed seemed like a mountain I could not climb. Find a tangible way to help your depressed friend, family member, or neighbor, and do it! Don't just call and ask what they need; they rarely tell you. Instead, show up and do it!
Galatians 6:2-3 NLT [2] Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. [3] If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.
When someone is depressed, regular tasks can become undoable burdens. So, show up with your sleeves rolled up and help lighten their load.
6. Let Go of Trying to Fix Them
This one is huge! I cannot tell you how many well-meaning people have tried to fix my depression. Afterward, I felt worse than before they tried to fix me.
Depressed people do not need someone to fix them. They need someone to listen, love, and lighten their load – but they do not need to be your project.
Psalms 40:2 NLT He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.
If we could fix those who are depressed, we would. But only God can lift them out of that pit. So, we need to give up trying to fix them and choose instead to love them back to health.
7. Lean in Rather Than Run Away
This key is a big truth. Loving depressed people can wear you out. They can try your patience and make you want to give up and run away. Don't quit. Lean in instead.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT [5] Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. [6] Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
Psalms 56:4 NLT I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?
God has the patience you need to deal with those who are depressed. God has the insight you need. God has the wisdom you need. And God will love them through you if you lean into him.
There is no quick fix for depression. But the church can help the depressed.
.
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