James 1:19 NKJV So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; (emphasis mine)
As Christians, we often approach the discussion of difficulties that someone is having completely wrong. We may think that a person simply isn’t connected enough with God, or that they could easily get through the trouble if they really wanted to. However asking a person to be or think more positively when they are suffering is like asking an injured bird to fly. Of course the bird would like to fly, but they can’t.
At the same time when someone comes to us saying that they are anxious, stressed,depressed, or “God forbid” feeling suicidal, we point them to scripture and tell them that if “you really, really, believe you will not or can’t be anxious, or depressed, or considering suicide, so just pray and claim the promises of God, and we give them these scriptures;
Isaiah 26:3 NKJV You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.
I Corinthians 10:13 NKJV No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
When 'Good Morning' Is a Bad Word
Proverbs 27:14 NKJV He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, It will be counted a curse to him.
Here's that same scripture from The Message paraphrase
Proverbs 27:14 MSG If you wake your friend in the early morning by shouting “Rise and shine!” It will sound to him more like a curse than a blessing..
Of course, the verse's real point deals less with God's waking hours and more with speaking wisely. Proverbs brings the focus back to the power and timing of our words when we relate to others. This funny illustration demonstrates that wisdom is more than a wholesome word or truth. Wisdom is also a truth spoken st the right time.
We've heard and often quoted this;
Ephesians 4:15 NKJV but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ— (emphasis mine)
However even this approach of "speaking the truth in love" can lack grace. The Apostle Paul encouraged his readers to consider that not every word is fit for every occasion.
Romans 8:28 NKJV And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
Even this comforting promise; should sometimes give way to grieving when the cancer diagnosis is first announced or a loved one dies. Before we quote this verse (which is truth) we should consider the impact on the hearer.. Wise words do more than offer the right word, and expect our friends to recognize its truth, even if we choose an inopportune moment. Instead, we have to recognize that the right word offered at the wrong time might as well be a curse instead of a blessing.
We don't have to throw out every nugget of knowledge at every pertinent time. We're not somebody else's Holy Spirit, convicting them of every mistake. We don't have to be perpetually cheerful saints, walking around singing hallelujahs all the time. There's a time and place for bold ministry, but don't confuse boldness with a need to always "say something".
Proverbs 10:13-14, 19-21 NLT Wise words come from the lips of people with understanding, but those lacking sense will be beaten with a rod. Wise people treasure knowledge, but the babbling of a fool invites disaster. Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. The words of the godly are like sterling silver; the heart of a fool is worthless. The words of the godly encourage many, but fools are destroyed by their lack of common sense.
Our goal is not to make others see our point of view but to build each other up with the love of Christ.