When I wrote this post in August 2014 I had no idea how close to home it would hit.  As you know, if you have been following this blog and my Facebook page, that Ruth, my wife of 43 years went to be with the Lord on January 24, 2015.  When we learned of her diagnosis we prayed and asked that others pray for her healing.  While I prayed and asked others to pray asking God to heal her I asked that we also pray that God's will be done in her life.  

I didn't publish this post here back in August.  I read it again the other night wondering if the events of the last month have changed my thoughts and beliefs from last August.  They had not.  The post is exactly as I wrote it in August.  I have resisted making any changes or inserting anything as a result of the events of the last month.

Disclaimer

When you write an article like this you run the risk of being misunderstood so I did have some reluctance in finally deciding to do it.  People may believe I don’t believe that God can and does heal.  Nothing is further from the truth.  I do believe in healing and I believe in miracles but my belief is in the way the Bible says it and not the way we have sometimes been taught by taking certain scripture out of context and trying to make it fit our specific situations.  Then if we or our loved one is not healed and maybe dies we blame God and say He didn't or couldn't keep His promises or that we or our loved one didn't have enough faith so it was our or their fault.  

What the Bible Says

There is a huge difference in believing God for our healing and claiming healing as if God owes it to us or that it’s guaranteed.  I have often struggled with the scriptures that people use when praying for healing for themselves or others and when hands are laid on people for healing because they are often taken out of context.  The answer is in the bible so I went there and here’s what I found that the Bible says about faith and healing.

We have always heard that it is God’s will for His children to prosper and be in health and we use

3 John 1:2 (HCSB) Dear friend, I pray that you may prosper in every way and be in good health physically just as you are spiritually.  

We quote that verse all the time and take it as a promise of God for good health and for prosperity. While it is God’s will that we be heathy and that we have all our needs met that’s not what this verse is saying.  This is John’s salutation in a letter to a friend.  It’s like our saying Dear John, I hope that this letter finds you healthy and prosperous. 

People are trying to get more faith, and increase their faith thinking that “if I just believe I will be healed”.  That’s more New Age than Christian faith.  Faith isn’t just believing that something will happen before it does (Hebrews 11:1 (HCSB)Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.).    It’s knowing that God has made provisions for that healing, and then trusting Him to manifest it.  

Here is something that I found in my research for this post.  This is from a website of Come Let Us Reason Ministries: (http://www.letusreason.org/Wf16.htm) 

Of the 35 miracles recorded in the Gospel accounts the faith of the recipient is exercised in only10 of the accounts. Healing of the lame man (Jn.5:1-9) the cleansing of a leper (Mt.8:2-4) healing a mans withered hand (Mt.9:2-8) the healing of the man born blind (Jn.9:1-7) healing the blindness of Bartemaeus  (Mt.20:29-34) The women who had a blood flow (Mt.9:20-22; Mk.5:24-34) Peter who walked on water to Jesus (Mt.14:24-33) the miraculous catching of the fish (Lk.5:1-11) and the second miraculous catch (Jn.21:1-11) The cleansing of the 10 lepers of which only one had faith (Lk.17:11-19). 

Jesus did not heal everyone always either Jn.5:1-15 v.3 Multitudes were gathered at the pool of Bethsaida, but Jesus picked only one to be healed a blind and lame man and disregarded the rest. V.3.The blind man acted on Christ's invitation, having no faith. He didn't know it was Jesus who healed him until later v.12-13.How many times did Jesus go past the gate of the temple and not heal anyone? Why doesn't he heal everyone all the time? Why didn't heal those who had faith and picked others who had no faith?

Here’s the right perspective

1 John 5:14-15 (HCSB) 14  Now this is the confidence we have before Him: Whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15  And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for.  (emphasis mine)  

Sickness, disease, pain, and death are realities in this world. Unless the Lord returns first, everyone who is alive today will die, and the vast majority of them (Christians included) will die as the result of a physical problem (disease, sickness, injury). It is not always God’s will to heal us physically.

Sometimes it is God’s will to heal, but sometimes it is not as in this case with Paul.  In Paul’s case God’s will was that he not become prideful because of all his gifts and influence.  He wanted to remind Paul to stay humble and that His mercy was more than enough to sustain him.    Don't think  that because  you have not been healed that you don’t have enough faith or  some sin prevents your healing, or that you are under a generational curse. You just might have God's glory resting on you for a special purpose.  Like the blind man in

John 9:1-3 (HCSB) 1  As He was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. 2  His disciples questioned Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered. “⌊This came about⌋ so that God’s works might be displayed in him. 

As I said earlier it is God’s will that we be healthy, but that doesn't mean that healing is a right.  Scripture, I have come to believe, teaches that healing is a gift received by faith.  A gift is not something that you can demand or claim that you have a right to.  When Jesus walked the earth those who wanted healing asked Him for it.  They didn't demand it and Jesus healed them voluntarily.   Salvation and eternal life are gifts from God to us because of His grace and mercy not because we earned or deserve them.  I believe that healing is one of those gifts.  We don’t earn healing because we go to church and bible study every week, or pray three times a day.  It is a gift from God.  

Ultimately, our full physical healing awaits us in heaven. In heaven, there will be no more pain, sickness, disease, suffering, or death (Revelation 21). We all need to be less preoccupied with our physical condition in this world and a lot more concerned with our spiritual condition.

Romans 12:1-2 (HCSB) 1  Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. 2  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

Then we can focus our hearts on heaven where we will no longer have to deal with physical problems.

Revelation 21:4 (HCSB) He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.

In my last post, just three days ago, Ruth had completed mile three of her journey.  In that post it was Friday and Ruth was admitted to the acute care hospital with pneumonia.  Ruth was being given oxygen through a mask and her oxygen numbers were pretty good.  She was able to talk and respond to questions.  I could tell that she was tired but she understood, and responded when I told her about some things that were happening with people that she knows and loves.  When a respiratory technician came in the room to give her a breathing treatment she even joked with him when he introduced himself.  He said "I'm Mark from respiratory".   Ruth's response "Hi Mark from respiratory” we all laughed.  Ruth said that she was thirsty and wanted some water and the nurse came in removed the oxygen mask after the breathing treatment and Ruth drank more water than I had seen her drink in weeks.  They had also given pushed fluids in her through an IV to try to flush out the lungs.  It was working because the catheter bag was full.  I left feeling pretty good although I knew that pneumonia with damaged lungs from the cancer was not a good thing.

Saturday January 24, 2014

I woke up Saturday morning and planned to go by the church and set up for Sunday morning and then go out to the hospital perhaps about noon.  I got a call from the attending physician about 10 am.  She told me that Ruth’s condition had worsened overnight and that she was not having a great deal of difficulty breathing so much so that she was going to talk with the respiratory ICU doctor about perhaps moving Ruth to ICU where she could be more closely monitored and perhaps intubated (a procedure by which a tube is inserted through the mouth down into the trachea, the large airway from the mouth to the lungs.  It was serious and Ruth was in critical condition but I said okay because we had decided to do everything possible to keep her alive for possible treatment of the cancer.  I told the doctor that I was on the way to the hospital. 

When I reached the hospital and was parking I got a call from the ICU doctor.  She asked me if I was aware of Ruth’s condition meaning that she has lung cancer and now pneumonia and I said yes.  She then told me that she had seen Ruth and had looked at all of her x-rays and scans and she told me that if Ruth was intubated that she would never be able to come off the ventilator and that in intubating her it could cause the heart to stop and then to do chest compression would be so very damaging and result in a great deal of pain and she would still need the ventilator to breath.  The only thing to do, in her opinion, was to try to stop and control the pneumonia and then discharge Ruth either to a nursing facility or home.  I was numb after hearing this but I agreed with the doctor especially if, in her opinion, if we couldn’t stop the pneumonia Ruth would not be able to breath without ventilation and I would have to make that decision then

When I got to Ruth’s room they had brought in a special device that was able to force more oxygen into her lungs through a very tight mask.  Forcing more oxygen in the lungs theoretically could cause her not to have to work so hard breathing.  When I went I Ruth was really struggling to breath but she spoke when I came in and she know that I was there.  We told each other that we loved each other.  She then asked me if I could take her home.  She was still using the original oxygen mask.  I told her no baby you can’t go home now we need to kick this pneumonia.  Hopefully you can come home in a few days.  She said okay.  The technician came in to set up the special device when she got it started she told Ruth that she was breathing too fast for the device to keep up.  She had to keep tweaking it in order for it to become effective.  The technician told me that most people breathe about 10 times a minute and Ruth was breathing 45 to 50 sometimes more a minute.  At that rate her heart would not be able to take it for long.   Well she got is slowed down so that the alarms stopped going off.  The doctor had ordered new antibiotics and they were going to do some tests to make sure that Ruth had not had a heart attack with her heart working so hard.

I left the hospital feeling a little better and my plan was to go home, prepare for church, and come back to the hospital after church on Sunday.  Before I left the apartment I decided to take Ruth’s life insurance policies with me and to select a mortuary because at some point we would need one and I wanted to get that out of the way.   Because it was Saturday one of the mortuaries was closed and I didn’t want to page and wait around or come back to meet somebody because it was not an emergency.  The other mortuary that I thought to use was having services so I didn’t stop by there either.  Then I decided, since I was still out, that I would go back to the hospital and spend a couple more hours with Ruth before going home. 

On my way back to the hospital the attending physician called me.  She told me that the test had come back that Ruth had not had a heart attack, but that she was still working very hard to breathe and she was going to change the antibiotics after talking to the infection control doctors.  Then she told me that she was leaving for the day but would talk to the evening attending physician about Ruth.  She would not be working on Sunday but would be in on Monday and that we would talk then.  I then told her that I do hope that we talk on Monday because if we do that will mean that Ruth made it through the weekend.  She agree and said yes I hope that we do talk on Monday.

When I get to the room this time her nurse is there and so is the respiratory technician.  Ruth is really struggling to breathe now.  I go over to the bed and call her name she looks at me and I tell her that I love her.  Through the mask she mumbles that she loves me.  The nurse and the technician leave the room and I write a Facebook post saying the Ruth is in critical condition.  I watch Ruth and see that her breathing continues to be very fast but that periodically it slows down.  When that happens I really look to see if she is still breathing.   The bells and buzzers start going off the technician and nurse come to the room quickly.  The nurse looks intently at Ruth and does some stuff on the monitor next to the bed.  This happens for about five minutes then the nurse says you might want to come over here and spend some time with Ruth.  I go over to the bed and touch Ruth she is no longer breathing.  I call her name and rub her chest.  Nothing.  The nurse says I need to page the doctor.  She leaves the room and two other nurses or aides come into the room and start to disconnect to leads to the monitor.  It is not as insensitive as it sounds in fact they were very sensitive and understanding and caring.  In fact they asked if I was okay.  After about two or three minutes the doctor comes in listens to Ruth’s chest, checks her eyes, which are closed, and then he looks at me and says “I’m sorry”.  

On To The New Highway

I had never been present when a child of God transitioned from this earthly life to be with the Lord in Paradise so I didn’t know what to expect.   I don’t know if this happens with everybody but my loving and beautiful wife made her transition with no pain, no crying out, she just stopped breathing and went to sleep.  It was so peaceful it was as if nothing at all happened.  She was at peace no more struggling, she had overcome so much in her life and now she is a peace.  I thank God that I was there with her and that she knew that I was there.  I was able to tell her that I love her and those may have been the last words that she heard.  I do know that the last words that she spoke were I love you too.

Ruth’s faith rubber did hit the road and with a firm grip, now slipping or spinning out she us now traveling on that new highway.  Her journey on this earth is now over but yours and mine continue.  Look at her example she has shown us all how to travel this road that is full of potholes and dead ends, and blind spots.  Her faith in God and her relationship with Jesus Christ have ensured her safe arrival and it can ensure yours too.

Ruth I love you and I miss you already but I know that it’s not forever.  What is forever is our love and that we will both live in eternity with Christ.  I love you.

Isaiah 57:1-2 (NLT) 1  Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. 2  For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die.

John 11:25-26 (NKJV) 25  Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26  And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?"

1 Corinthians 15:42-44 (NKJV) 42  So also is the resurrection of the dead. The body is sown in corruption, it is raised in incorruption. 43  It is sown in dishonor, it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness, it is raised in power. 44  It is sown a natural body, it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body.

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NKJV) 17  For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18  while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Philippians 1:21 (NKJV) For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (NKJV) 13  But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. 15  For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. 16  For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17  Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18  Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Revelation 21:4 (NKJV)  And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."

It’s been 10 days since my last “When The Faith Rubber Meets The Road”.  It doesn’t seem that long because things have been happening so quickly since December 31st.  When I last posted, on January 13th, I told you that the doctors had found a mass in Ruth’s liver in addition to her lungs.  Her lung cancer was spreading to other organs.  .  I also wrote that I had talked to Ruth and her decision was to fight and we wanted to talk about chemotherapy.  The two Oncology doctors that met with us on that day never got back to us.   But I got the answer anyway from another doctor that was seeing Ruth and their initial  assessment was that because of her current physical condition she was too weak and not a candidate for chemotherapy.  Duh,  I could have given that answer.  That was Tuesday January 13, 2015.  

The Cancer 

The cancer is adenocarcinoma which is a non-small cell cancer.  

Adenocarcinoma: About 40% of lung cancers are adenocarcinomas. These cancers start in early versions of the cells that would normally secrete substances such as mucus. This type of lung cancer occurs mainly in current or former smokers, but it is also the most common type of lung cancer seen in non-smokers. It is more common in women than in men, and it is more likely to occur in younger people than other types of lung cancer. Adenocarcinoma is usually found in outer parts of the lung. It tends to grow slower than other types of lung cancer, and is more likely to be found before it has spread outside of the lung. - American Cancer Society

Evidence of Divine Intervention

One of the things that became very clear to me, after the shock of learning that the cancer was now spreading to other organs was that God was in complete control of this situation.  Here’s how.  Ruth’s surgery was on New Year’s Day.  About the 5th of January they were talking about finding a skilled nursing facility (SNF) to send Ruth so that she could start some rehabilitation to regain her strength.  They were pretty confident, by this time that she was fine neurologically, although she wasn't talking much.  She was much more aware and able to respond correctly to questions and to follow simple commands and that continued to improve.  But back to my point.  They started looking for a bed at a SNF about the 5th.  There were no beds to be found for many reasons, flu outbreaks at some, other problems at others.  Because Ruth was still in the acute care hospital they were continuing to monitor her for abdominal pain which at first was a urinary tract infection.  Because the pain persisted after antibiotics they did a CT scan and Xrays and found the liver tumors.  Guess what, if she had been discharged to a SNF they would probably not have seen them for much longer.  They were also able to manage her pain which by now was considerable.  That is now under control, thank God.  In fact she has not complained of pain for days.

Last Week on the Road  

During the week Ruth is really now beginning to look more like her beautiful self.  She is still getting pureed food which she doesn't like so she is refusing to eat.  We are having a really hard time getting her to eat even though I keep telling her that even if she is a candidate for chemotherapy she can’t take it in her current condition because she is much too weak.  It’s not working and she is getting tired of me telling her that she should eat.  When I start to tell her she screams “DON PLEASE”, meaning stop telling me the same thing over and over.  Because she is so weak the physical therapy team can’t get her to do anything either.  It is beginning to get troubling because we now have appointments for radiation therapy consult and radiation treatments and another oncology consult to talk about potential treatments including the possibility of chemo.  This goes on all week.  She is able to talk to some family members and friends by telephone and able to answer their questions and tell them that she loves them.  She couldn't do that the prior week.  The neurosurgery team is pleased with her progress and have removed the staples from the surgical wound so they have canceled her follow up appointment with them.  As far as they are concerned she’s good to go now it’s time to really work on the cancer. 

It’s now last Friday January 16th and still no beds at any of the hospital’s contracted SNFs, but the case manager is optimistic that today is the day.  I tell him that I know that there is a reason that he hasn't been able to find a bed and remind him about the discovery of the liver tumors.  He agrees that there must have been some reason things happened that way.  It’s interesting how people who don’t want to believe in or admit to the supernatural will say that yes there must be a reason that didn't happen or yes I agree that it’s strange that there were no beds and during that time this or that happened.  On the other hand several nurses in the department, who are Christian, knew what I was saying.  Anyway I said look you haven’t found a bed in all this time how about on Monday we think about you getting me all the stuff I need and discharging her home.  If I have all the proper stuff like maybe a hospital bed if needed, raised toilet seat, shower chair, wheelchair, and some physical therapy, between me and all our friends and neighbors we can get Ruth strong enough to start possible treatment.  He agrees but he’s pretty sure he is going to find a bed that day.  Well as it turns out the discharge planner takes off and goes home early so there is nobody there to facilitate a transfer even if he did find a bed.  So Ruth is there all weekend. That’s God!

This week on the Road

It is now Monday January 19th, MLK Day.  They do find a bed Monday mid-afternoon.  It’s is near the hospital so I go and take a look and get a tour.  The SNF is clean, no smell, nice equipment in the rehab center cordial staff.  Ruth is ready to go.  She wants to get out of that hospital and wants a change of scenery.  She gets there after dinner but they find something for her to eat.  She doesn't eat it but they did go to the trouble of finding something. 

Tuesday, her first day at the SNF was pretty busy.  Occupational Therapy and Physical Therapy came by to assess, her planning on getting started the next day, Wednesday.  The medical director is on vacation but the replacement doctor, who is very nice and attentive, came by to see us.  Ruth has a small ulcer on her bottom from being in bed so long but it is small and the doctor doesn't see a problem with it.  However she does say that Ruth has a slight case of pneumonia and she was ordering IV antibiotics.  She didn't see a problem but she would look at Ruth the next day to see if she could still keep her radiation therapy appointments on Thursday.   Everything’s good.  Ruth is even eating and they have changed her diet to a regular diet with no restrictions.  When I say she’s eating we are still having to encourage her to eat and they are now giving her enriched drinks like Ensure.  PT says that they worked with her a little and she still needed maximum support but she was coming along slowly.

Thursday Radiation Oncology

The plan was for me to come to the SNF pick Ruth up, take her to her two appointments and bring her back.  In order to do this I had to transfer Ruth from a wheelchair to the car then from the car to the wheelchair both going and coming.  The staff was going to work with me and give me some training before the first appointment.  When we tried to get Ruth from the wheelchair to the car she was just too week to make the transfer so we decided to use non-emergency medical transportation to take us.  That’s another expensive story for another time. I forgot to mention that when I came to meet Ruth before going to the appointment the doctor told me that morning Ruth had an elevated plus and shortness of breath but that she appeared fine at that time but if they became concerned about it at the appointment they may want to send her to the ER because after surgery and being in bed there is always the possibility of blood clotting in the lungs. 

Keep in mind that this would be the first time that Ruth has been out of the bed for an extended period since New Year’s Eve.  We went to the consult met two very nice radiation oncology doctors who explained that Ruth would have 5 radiation therapy treatments over 5 days with the first one to take place that afternoon.  Ruth was just too tired to keep the second appointment so we rescheduled it for next week.  We went back to the SNF and within an hour after eating some of her lunch and drinking all of her shake Ruth was sleep. 

After writing the first post “ The Beginning” of this journey, on Monday January 5th,  I went to see Ruth.  When I walked into her room she was awake and recognized me right away.  She was moving around in the bed, her sitter was there so there was no danger, and moaning as if she was in pain.  When I asked her, if she was in pain, she was able to moan yes.  I asked where she hurt and she said “head”.  I told the nurse and then the nurse told me that the doctors had discontinued the narcotic pain medication because they felt that she was sleeping too much so all they could give here was extra strength Tylenol.  Although she was in more pain she was also more alert, which was very encouraging. 

An Encouraging Sign 

She is incontinent at the moment and urinates frequently so she as to be washed and cleaned.  When the aide or nurse and sometimes me ask her to roll over on her side she does and then she reaches out and grabs to bed railing to help.  Then tonight after I got home the most encouraging thing of all.  I called to check on her and asked the sitter to put the phone to her ear so that I could tell her good night.  When I told her who I was she responded but that’s not the best part I told her to get a good night’s rest and she said okay, that’s still not the best part; I told her that I love her and I knew that she heard and understood and here comes the best part she clearly said I love you.  That’s’ the best part.  Yesterday when I told her that I love her she would have heard and maybe understood, but she would not have been able to have enough clarity to respond with I love you.  That’s the best part. 

Continued Improvement

As the week progressed Ruth didn’t show much improvement.  Yes she was alert and able to respond to basic questions.  She knew who I was, she knew the people that I told her were asking about her.  She could talk on the phone although someone had to hold it to her ear because early in the week she was pulling at her IVs so they had one arm restrained.  She was getting more and more alert everyday but unless you were up there every day you wouldn’t have seen it. 

She was also now experiencing a lot of pain in her back.  Ruth has had chronic back pain for years and she had been in bed on her back for a week now.  She was also expecting some abdominal pain.  Remember they were not giving her any strong paid medication.  Her condition had improved however and neurologically she was back at “baseline” meaning that the neurosurgeons were comfortable that once the swelling completely receded and the irritation was gone she would be back to normal not disoriented or confused, so they ordered mild pain medication for the head and back pain.   She was also having abdominal pain which was thought to be perhaps caused by a bladder infection.  With the addition now of the pain medication she could rest and sleep and help in the healing process.  This was Saturday night.

Sunday Was A Great Day

When I went to the hospital after church on Sunday Ruth’s pain was under control, she was alert and bright eyed.  She is a Dallas Cowboy fan but nobody at the hospital thought to turn on the football game so when I told her that her team lost she was disappointed.  So loves the NFL so I asked her if she wanted to watch the Broncos/Colts game and she said yes and she watched.

So now we are trying to figure out if and when she will be transferred to a rehab facility.  and which one.  I’m trying to negotiate with the doctors to let her come home if it’s safe and their saying Physical Therapy (PT) says it’s not safe.  So I’m trying to use some connections to get her into a facility that I’m comfortable with and where there will be someone watching out for her. 

Meanwhile PT is not pushing her because early in the week she wasn’t able to follow them when they ask her to do things.  I forgot to mention that when I was there Friday PT got he up and standing with a walker but since she is incontinent they had an adult diaper on her and it fell down.  Well it took too long to try to get it up and Ruth decided to sit down and not try to walk.  That was the end of that.

She is still complains of abdominal pain and her white cell count is up so she has an ultra sound.

Monday Was A Good Day

Monday was a good day but not even close to Sunday.  Had there been the improvement from Sunday to Monday that there was from Saturday to Sunday Ruth would have been running around the room.  I could tell however that she was not feeling as well as she had on Sunday.  She was getting pain medication so the pain was being managed but she wasn’t as chipper.  Although they were still planning on transferring her to a rehab facility none of them had available beds, which turns out to be God’s doing.  They still want to watch the abdominal pain and try to figure out what’s going on internally.  Meanwhile we now have appointments set up for Oncology and Radiation Therapy consultants, and 2 follow up with Neurosurgery.  Things are moving right along.  She’s not even asking for a whole lot of pain medication.  By now I’m feeling very optimistic and I’m planning to go to the hospital early Tuesday morning to talk to the doctors about starting Ruth back on her other medications and pushing PT to get her up and moving.  I’m trying to get her out of the hospital either to rehab for a short stay or home.

I have been writing blog posts about faith and living your life in faith in God for the past nine months.  I really believe what I have been writing because I have personally seen the Word of God and His promises manifested in many lives and I’ve read about countless others both in and out of the Bible.  Last year my granddaughter was diagnosed with a bone cancer.  She had to endure multiple surgeries and chemotherapy sessions and she is now cancer free.  I lead the adult Sunday morning bible study group at my church, The Church of Divine Guidance, and we just finished a series on faith.  Earlier in 2014 we did a long study, Overwhelmed:  Winning the War Against Worry. 

All preparing us for what is happening now and what I’ll about over the next I don’t know how long. All the sermons Ruth and I have heard, all the study in preparation for my bible study group, all the preparations for my sermons, all the encouragement that I have tried to give others in walking by faith, all the testimonies we’ve heard have been preparation for just this time. 

Do you really believe what the Word of God says about how He cares for us, how he will never leave us or forsake us, all the scripture that we and others quote about healing…or not?  Ruth and I believe and, based on the responses to my Facebook and Google+ posts about Ruth’s diagnoses of lung cancer discovered in the removal of a brain tumor, heaven has been and continues to be bombarded on her behalf.  We all want God to heal her, so that she returns to the Ruth that we all know and love.  We don’t really care how God does it.  He can do it miraculously, or through medicine.  We just want Him to heal her.   That is what we want and that is our will for Ruth but we understand that we must  submit to the will of God.  As Ruth’s nephew, a pastor, said God’s will is going to be done regardless and  because Ruth is His child we just pray that our will lines up with His.

These posts will be for you who are going through difficult times, be it your health or the health of a loved one, financial difficulties, a wayward child,  whatever it is we want to share our journey with you.  We want to share it to encourage you.  I will be real and transparent.  You’ll know the times of sadness and disappointment as well as the times of joy and triumph.  We fully expect that Ruth will be healed because we know what God’s plans for her and for us are;

Jeremiah 29:11 (NKJV)  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

For those readers who are not my Facebook friends or don’t have me in their Google+ circles I need to give you some background because this is the first in what I believe will be many posts about our journey because this is when our faith rubber meets the road.


The Beginning 

The first thing that you need to know is that Ruth started smoking again, after having stopped for many years, when our son Robert became seriously ill.  That was 3 years ago.  Over my strong objections she started to sneak and smoke.  She couldn’t smoke in the house or apartment and she had to get others to bring her cigarettes because I refused to buy them, take her to get them, or give her any money to buy them.  Now the rest of the story.

For the past several months Ruth started having short term memory lapses.  Since she is 69 years old you attribute it to getting older and maybe even the start of early stage dementia or Alzheimer so you don’t pay a whole lot of attention to it although I did suggest that she mention it to her doctors.  She didn’t. 

Over the past 3 months the memory lapses became more frequent and, in hindsight because Ruth has poor vision, her vision may have been getting worse.  Her eating habits changed and she began to eat very little.  She became a little lethargic, although Ruth liked to sleep late and waking her up in the morning could be dangerous, but nothing exceptional in that.  Then Thanksgiving when preparing the meal what she usually did the day before Thanksgiving she didn’t do so I did it thinking that she was just tired.  Then Thanksgiving day while the food was cooking I noticed that she was just sitting watching television like she had forgotten that we were cooking. 

The next week we went on a trip with our church and she was moving slowly and by the time we got home she we not feeling well at all.  The bus was cold and she caught a cold and we thought that was the extent of it.   Then things really started going downhill.  The memory lapses got worse and worse and in the last 3 weeks she started having trouble getting dressed and calling things the wrong name like calling scrambled eggs noodles.  I started to get very concerned.  Still thinking early stage dementia I realized after talking with my mother that this was happening too fast to be dementia.

On Tuesday December 30th we went to see her doctor.  He saw right away that there was a problem because of the way she was responding to his questions.  He sent us to the ER and they did a CT scan and found a mass on her brain.  They then transported her to a hospital with a wonderful neurosurgical department where they did an MRI and found a tumor.  That tumor was successfully removed on New Year’s Day.  That’s the good news.